Pretty little epiphanies

To be honest, I’m not quite sure when I realized this. But when the realization hit as realizations often do, it was late at night, and I was lying in bed, the comforting darkness cocooning me.  I realized that I wasn’t quite what people made me out to be. I was at best a talented actress who had managed to keep up an act, clumsily dancing tango in my tap shoes in a room of professionally trained ballerinas. I was not one of the elites. I am not somebody people will ever look upon and idolize. 

And for a moment, that realization struck me immobile. I was terrified. Terrified of the thought that one day I would not 'be', I would have been, and the world would forget my name. But it hit me then, I am not ‘was’, I am in this moment. I am this moment. I am not the past, I am the present, the future and the forever. I am, I am, I am, and how wonderful it is to be. And being would have to be enough. I am more than enough.

Aham Brahmasmi, Tatvam Asi. I am Brahma, the creator of my own universe, as are you. I am not just a name on a list, a face in a crowd; I am a universe teeming with potential. I am not one thing that fits one mold, I am fluidity itself, changing, evolving, becoming the mold. Each breath I take is an affirmation of my wholly lived and wholly unique experience. So who gets to say what I do in my own world? Who gets to teach me the limitations of what I can be, who I can be and what I should do? Who gets to decide the limitations of my mind, or what takes up space within my heart? Who, except the creator of the universe herself, decides what goes on within it?

~dhri